Saturday, July 21, 2007

Dumb and Dumber

All's fair now. I have permission to tell about Jack's latest goof, as long as I report my own too. So, Jack first.




The other day Jack came home from work and flopped back on the couch. As I flopped next to him I noticed he had a large bandage on his leg. Concerned, I immediately asked what happened. He glanced down and began to pick at the corner of the bandage, "Oh that," he said, pulling back the gauze pad to reveal his wound. "It's just a scratch, but it sure bled like a stuffed pig!"

I chuckled and said, "A what?"

He looked at me with disbelief. Hope surged in his eyes as he thought that he had finally discovered a word or expression of the English language that I wasn't familiar with. "A stuffed pig! Haven't you ever heard that expression?"

I hated to shatter his joy, but knowing he'd certainly want to share in my hysterical laughter, I said (as gently as possible of course) "Stuck pig, Honey. It bled like a stuck pig." I was right--he did share in my hysterical laughter!

Ok, my turn. I hate to tell this. I've a feeling it will haunt me for the rest of my life, but a deal's a deal.

Just about a year ago, we got a window air conditioner. It has been worth it's weight in gold already, despite the fact that it will probably cost that much to run it by the end of the summer. At any rate, I quickly learned how to use it most effectively--being the resident gadget queen and all. There are four settings: Cool, Fan, Energy Saver and Dehum. We generally use energy saver, but one unusually humid day last month Jack set it to Dehum. As he did, he turned to me and asked whether I had used the dehumidifier yet and how well it works.

Time stopped for a second as the past year of my air conditioned life passed before my eyes and I breathed out, "Oh man." Being the ever loving and attentive husband that he is, Jack immediately noticed my reaction. I tried to brush it off as nothing, but he smelled blood. He kept after me for several minutes before I finally confessed. " Well, ever since we got that thing, I've thought it was unfortunate that a brand new air conditioner was just as noisy in "Dehum" mode as in the others!"

So there you have it. Dumb and Dumber. You decide which. (But keep your decision to yourself. I don't want to know!)

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