Sunday, February 24, 2008

Theology 101

Hannah is at that age when everything is black or white--there is no possible room for gray. Everything, everyone, every action--all worship God or worship Satan. Like Bratz dolls (or "mad Barbies" as Grace calls them. . .you guessed it--they worship Satan.

Three examples:

Our God vs. Satan discussion began early one morning, when she (the only morning person in our family) crawled in bed with us to snuggle. After a little bit, she quietly said, "Mama's and Daddy's heads are big and kids' heads are small, right Mom?" I managed an "Mmm hmm," in my semi-coma. [What time is it anyway? 6:15! What are you doing thinking at this time of day?] A few more minutes passed before she spoke again, "And God is right and Satan is wrong. . . .right Mom?" In a scratchy voice, I muttered, "That's right Honey," and had rolled over and was just about back to sleep. . .again, when she piped up one last time. "That's a lot of questions, huh Mama?" Now awake, I had to agree as she snuggled against me--fast asleep.

On the upside, we got anatomy and theology out of the way before even getting out of bed. I love home-schooling! [If we can just save physics and philosophy for after breakfast!]


Next, we progressed to this:
Wonderful workbooks. Simple lesson. Cut out the following pictures and place them in order. So I asked Hannah, "What are the bears doing in these pictures?"



Without pausing to even think, she stated in her most matter-of-fact voice, "Well, they're making a yucky guy to worship Satan."

All righty then. . .next lesson.

Finally, one night I sent Hannah upstairs to get her jammies on. After way too much silence, I ventured up to see what had become of her. She seemed to be nowhere until I finally found her sitting on the toilet lid in the semi-darkness of our master bathroom, legs pulled up with her chin resting on her knees. I said, "What in the world are you doing in here?"

"Well, she responded, I was just thinking for a little bit." With great self-control, I casually asked what she was thinking about. She answered, "Well I was just thinking that God made two kinds of animals--bite animals and no-bite animals. And the no-bite animals worship God, and the bite animals worship Satan." Momentarily speechless, I watched as she climbed off the toilet and trotted past me down the hall to her bedroom to get her jammies on.

1 comment:

Kara Jo said...

More laughing out loud!